HOME-INVASION BY THE ELDERLY

Why do they do this? Why do people, as soon as they retire, at once become members of the Home-Invasion Society of America (HISA)? The HISA is mostly composed of retired people, though it also includes younger people without work and with need for a place to stay and have something to eat now and then, and besides those there are those younger (including up to middle-aged) people who simply have no consuming interests and so nothing to do themselves, and think you don't have anything to do, either (thank goodness these latter often have jobs and kids in school and must get back to their own homes before long)...These "people without a life" probably comprise the bulk of the younger members of HISA, and they presumably are the ones who when they retire become full-fledged and full-time members.

I am among the "elderly" (though, as I say elsewhere on this site, not the "eldest" of the "elderly") and so I feel entitled to voice an opinion, and not only that, I feel the need to try to explain to people (both young and old) that not all old people are the same....just like not all young people are the same.

It seems to me natural for those who've never thought about it to assume that EVERYone wants company (since most people are this way), but especially -- for some reason that really does elude me -- they think that older people, all of them except maybe some real meanies, would think it absolutely wonderful if anyone showed up at their door, and the more people the better(!!! - This is not true!!!).

Even I believe, by what I've observed in my lifetime, that "most" older people would travel (pretty much constantly, if retired), and visit everyone they can find to visit if they could, and if they weren't able to do that, they would be glad most of the time to have people visit them (though they may not all want their visitors to arrive unannounced, and/or bring their kids, and/or they may not all want them to stay too long -- whatever "too long" means to them; it means 30 seconds outside the front door to me).

But it must be kept in mind that although a majority of people apparently have almost a constant need to be with other people, probably to reassure themselves that they are alive and that someone likes them, as they are basically so insecure about their worth, there is quite a large chunk of the population, albeit a minority, that has no need for this constant physical proximity. Many of them, in fact, are much happier and able to function much better by themselves or with close and regular companions.

Just because these more introverted people become old people doesn't mean that they have changed their personalities and are now ready to hit the road and visit everyone they can fit in to the time frame of their trip. Likewise, just because they're old it doesn't mean that they are anxious now to have people come visiting.

The truth is that most of the people who are happy being alone (or with above-mentioned companions), are happy because they have a very busy life that doesn't require, and in fact requires them not to have, people coming by to "visit." They are the kind of people - not all of them, but quite often they come from their ranks - become the scientists of the world, and the artists, and writers of fiction and poetry, and the explorers and so on -- They are self-motivated people with great interests, who have vocations and/or avocations that consume them. These people have lives that are filled to the brim with constant hard (but satisfying) work and constant enjoyment...not funny "haha" enjoyment, usually, but let's just call it great contentment. These people enjoy every minute of their lives, as long as they aren't frustrated by things that keep them from pursuing what it is that is their passion. These are the kind of people who never do "retire" from whatever it is that they love doing. It is ironic that even though their lives are very satisfying, when they aren't kept from what they want and "need" to do, they are often considered "meanies" because they are not as sociable as people who are not like them would like them to be.

It is also ironic that the people who are most satisfied, have the most self-respect, have the greatest interests and who love what they're doing more than other people can ever understand, are the very people that the "sociable" people pity most, and think of as desperately needy for company and "getting out." Do you want to drive a person like that insane? Over the top? Kill them off, even? Then feel sorry for them and try to get them to socialize. You might see a person die right in front of you, in spirit at least. They are the kind of people who treasure every minute and do not want to waste it. The same people who treasure time often treasure other resources, too, like money. Simply put, they are not wasteful. And they are not meanies unless they become so by having people try to get them to waste their time (and other resources) to the point where they cannot live their lives at all as they would like to.

You might assume that they dislike people -- I suppose some do, just as some "social" people dislike others, too...They may like to be around other people but put them down all the time, or cause a lot of trouble. Introverted people, of any age, may very well like other people, even very much, but their relationships don't have anything to do with sitting around and chatting about nothing (gossip, for instance), or watching television, or etc. They prefer to relate mind-to-mind, and to do it in a way that is convenient for everyone involved, so that precious time isn't wasted on doing things that have no purpose (be it practical or "spiritual"). They want to waste neither their own time nor that of others.

I suppose it's true that the older you get the more aware you are of time passing, and thus aware of how you have less and less of it, and therefore each moment becomes more precious than the last.

I will end this getting back to the main subject, which is visiting and being visited by the members of HISA (Home Invasion Society of America, see first paragraph, above). Will everyone please understand that all "elderly" people are not members of this group. Many, many of us (although a minority) are glad to be alone because we, who are self-motivated and with great interests are terribly busy not only with what we love doing but also with what we have to do (eating, sleeping, cleaning the house, washing the clothes, going to the store, having the car repaired, etc....all the mundane but necessary tasks in life); and we hope that you are, too. This is not to say that we don't want to communicate with you, if you are an interesting person and you really care about us, and want us to care about you: Please do write.